1 in 4 people in the UK suffer with some form of mental health problem each year (Mind Charity). But even then, the stigma around "mental health" still stands. When discussing anything else in relation to your physical well-being, it is just referred to as your "health". Maybe that is part of the issue, we have been lead to believe that mental health is separate, even though, both our physical and mental health are directly linked.
I have became quite comfortable recently discussing my own mental health (or lack of it - it's strange no matter how down in the dumps I get my sense of humour never changes), but just because I am getting better at talking about it in no sense means I have any control over it or understand it. You would think, realistically, that because it is your head that you would have control over how you feel all the time. But it doesn't work like that. I keep asking myself...
How do you even begin to comprehend how to deal
with how you're feeling, if you can't even understand
the feelings yourself?
How do you work towards feeling better,
when you don't know where to start?
How do you fit self care in when you work full-time
and have people around you that need you?
I have continuously tried over the past few months to get in control of my mind and so far I'm not doing a very good job. I have tried taking time for myself, spending time with friends, writing things down, counselling, exercising, medication, but as yet, my motivation is still at an all time low and all I want to do is sleep.
My mood today:
I am 23, nearly 24, and I feel like
I haven't achieved anything.
I am still living at home and not where
I planned my life would
be when I was younger, I don't necessarily
have a career or hobbies.
My sister is poorly and my mind
is all over the place with a million
other things and on top of that
I just feel knackered.
I don't want to feel like this, but at the same time I can't bring myself to do anything about it. I feel stuck - like nothing I am trying to do is working, and when I do perk up, something else comes around to knock me back down again.
I want to be successful, I want my own home, I want to be healthy and mostly, I just want to be happy. I am determined to better myself and come through the other side happy and loving life, but the whole journey is something I am not sure on as yet and I feel like I'm just riding the wave until I finally get washed up on my dream island.
I am no longer embarrassed about how I feel, it turns out people were more surprised when they thought I was doing ok and talking to people makes you realise how many people around you are also battling with their own mind.
If anyone else has been through or going through something similar, don't feel bad talking about it, I am discussing health - whether it is a cold, a broken leg or anxiety and depression - it matters.
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