I'm going to be honest, I have been meaning to get back into writing. I feel good when I write (when I was younger I always said I was going to be the new and improved Jacqueline Wilson) probably because I always write about my favourite subject, Terri Nicola (If I was to ever be invited to Master Mind, she would be my subject of choice).
Like many other things, life got in the way and now I'm finding myself ready to write and my favourite subject has gone away.
After being poorly for a little while (prev. blogs touch on this) on 11th May this year at 4:15am, Terri Nicola gained her wings and let go of everything that was holding her back. It's just been her 6 month anniversary, already. She was so brave and I have never been prouder of her - she didn't want to go, coming back to us so many times. In the end, her body just couldn't keep up with her.
We were all with her, snuggled up for bed time - typically Tez, she just had to wait for everyone to finally get some sleep.
But since then, its been hard.
It's been weird.
I have a constant cloud over my head, sometimes it's fluffy and light and full of the happy moments, the love, the snuggles and others, its dark. Reliving her final moments, over and over again. Reliving the ache I felt when I knew she was gone.
No one should have to lose a sister, especially not their baby sister.
No one should have to change their sisters nappy and dress them in their favourite pyjamas for the final time.
No one should have to visit their sister at the hospice in the butterfly room.
No one should have to help plan their sister's funeral.
But, I did.
But, even then, I would not have it any other way.
She was my light;
She was my Best Friend;
She was my Soul Mate;
She was everything I ever could want or need!
This is all a bit of babble, but it's been a while, i'll get back into the swing of it eventually!
I'm just going to end this one with the poem I wrote, the day after she left us.
xxx
Comentários