I knew losing Terri would be painful, but what I didn't expect was the almost constant dull ache I feel, that only gets worse when I think of her or need a hug (she gave the best - she just fit in all the right nooks, no offence to anyone else that has ever given me a hug).
2022 was the year we lost you, but it will always be special:
The last time I held you
The last time we had morning cuddles
The last time you shouted my name
The last time you ask me if I was ok
The last time we laughed
The last time we argued
The last time I told you I loved you
I'm scared for a full year without you and the whole rest of my life.
I know you relied on us for so much Terri and I would have done anything to protect you, but I don't think you ever realised how much I needed you.
You kept me right. You cheered me up. When everything else was going to pot, I knew that it didn't matter because when I get home I'd scoop you up and everything would be ok.
For the past 19 years, January was 'your' month. You would countdown to your birthday from Christmas Day. So on the 14th of this month, we have your birthday, except you aren't here. You would've been 20 but instead you are forever 19, forever my best friend and baby sister! I'll miss you opening your birthday cards and searching for paper money. I'll miss you taking 15 minutes to open one present. I'll miss you spitting all over your birthday cake when you tried to blow the candles out.
No matter what, everything positive now will be bitter sweet because you aren't here to share it with me, but I am sure you're watching, you always were a nosy bugger.
xxx
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