There are many preconceptions regarding disabilities, most people are probably guilty of believing some – although, in many situations they are not true.
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There are millions of different disorders/illnesses
that can in turn class someone as disabled.
Yet when it comes to people’s ideas on disability it doesn’t vary much. These people are always presumed be lesser and unable to look after themselves.
Since Terri’s diagnoses I have found myself drawn to learn more about different disabilities and the coping mechanisms, whether that’s medication, operations or equipment. I often watch programmes with my Mum about different people and their stories.
To make this more statistical I looked into some preconceptions that were online about those with disabilities, and there was quite a few. These preconceptions aren’t new to me, we have often been made aware of them in peoples comments regarding to Terri. Whether they are passing comments, questions or actions you can often figure out what people think of those people with disabilities early on in your interactions with them.
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The one that upsets me the most is that people believe that they are less of a human. They are other on a tick box. They are a partial person and limited. This is, what I believe to be, the catalyst to peoples opinions on disability. If you believe that someone is less of a person than yourself due to something out of their control, then you are the problem. Just because someone has a disability does not make them any less important. It does not make them less worthy.
1.
People with disabilities are different from fully human people; they are partial or limited people, in an "other" and lesser category. As easily identifiable "others" they become metaphors for the experience of alienation.
Ignorance is bliss for a lot of people; but when your ignorance is affecting those around you it is not ok. People will often literally act like Terri isn’t there. Like she is invisible. They will look through her and not bat an eyelid. When you look at someone out on the street; you don’t just stare at them. There is a difference between looking around and looking through somebody. Terri maybe doesn’t feel you, but we do. I understand that people’s perceptions on disability have changed over the years – but I still think we have a long way to go. If we were living our life in the past, there was a time when Terri would have been sent to an institution.
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2.
The successful “handicapped” person is superhuman, triumphing over adversity in a way which serves as an example to others; the impairment gives disabled persons a chance to exhibit virtues they didn’t know they had, and teach the rest of us patience and courage.
Terri is often referred to as a superhero or something else along those lines. In a way it is nice – because to us, she is superhuman, whether she is improving or not – with her daily struggles she still finds a way to be the happiest out of us all. But in all honesty, what choice does she have? She knows no different, she is just Terri, a special little girl that doesn’t know she is any different.
My Mum would often use her as a comparison when me and Lee were complaining about something. I needed a filling and I was terrified of the injection, then Mum chirps up “if Terri can deal with the pain she goes through I think you can get a filling” and she is right.
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3.
The burden of disability is unending; life with a disabled person is a life of constant sorrow, and the able-bodied stand under a continual obligation to help them. People with disabilities and their families -- the "noble sacrificers" -- are the most perfect objects of charity; their function is to inspire benevolence in others, to awaken feelings of kindness and generosity.
Lets just get one thing straight, life with a disabled person is not constant sorrow and we are not under the obligation to help her. She is my best friend and Sister – she brings more joy to my life than any able-bodied human ever could. We are not noble for sacrificing to look after her – we are just a family. Millions of people are doing the same, not because they have to, but because they love their children/siblings.
I agree with the second part however, I do feel like with having Terri, I have learnt more about caring and giving to others. If you gave me the option between doing something for myself or somebody else, I’d nearly always chose the other person.
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4.
A disability is a sickness, something to be fixed, an abnormality to be corrected or cured. Tragic disabilities are those with no possibility of cure, or where attempts at cure fail.
In a perfect world, Cockayne Syndrome would be curable, people are trying. For Terri it is too late, her genes are already set in stone and the illness rules her body, all that we can hope for are medicines to improve her quality of life. For those in the future I would love to think that one day CS won’t exist, that it can be nipped in the bud. Science has come a long way and so has medicine, but a world without rare genetic disorders somehow still feels a long way off.
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5.
People with disabilities are a menace to others, to themselves, to society. This is especially true of people with mental disability. People with disabilities are consumed by an incessant, inevitable rage and anger at their loss and at those who are not disabled. Those with mental disabilities lack the moral sense that would restrain them from hurting others or themselves.
Terri is a menace. Not to society, just to us. She is the biggest pain in the arse when she wants to be, but what 16-year-old isn’t. We are quite lucky in a way that Terri doesn’t know she is any different to anybody else – she is oblivious, it keeps her innocent and safe from other people’s opinions and actions.
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6.
People with disabilities, especially cognitive impairments, are holy innocents endowed with special grace, with the function of inspiring others to value life. The person with a disability will be compensated for his/her lack by greater abilities and strengths in other areas -- abilities that are sometimes beyond the ordinary.
I value life and the simple things a lot. I spend time just walking, listening to the world around me and I am grateful because I know that there are many people who aren’t able to appreciate the little things. I value just staying at home with Terri because I love just watching her and seeing her happy.
My experiences with Terri has led me to feel and think differently about the world around me and I think so many people could learn from her and people similar.
People are so quick to complain or write off a day because of small stuff.
Life is a gift.
All I ask is that next time you presume something about
someone a little different you will open your mind
to the possibility that all is not what you think.
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